Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe Marjorie Wolfe
Welcome
by Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
SCHOOL BUS ADS in YIDDISH AND ENGLISH

You’ve seen ads on buses that make you say “OMG” or “That’s vunderlekh” (wonderful).

In 2009, Joe Runfola, a real estate broker, posted the following information:

“Two cash-starved schools in the Borough Park area have allowed a religious textbook publisher to turn their yellow buses into mobile billboards.

The Banner, which appears on the sides of nine buses, shows a smiling boy holding a religious book called a Chumash. The Yiddish caption, referring to the publisher, reads: ‘Everyone goes to school with Oz V’Hadar.’”

Chumash is another “nomen” (name) for the Torah.

Rabbi Mayer Weinberger, executive director of Yeshiva Chasan Sofer, wrote, “Reactions were pretty positive because we screened the ad.” Because there are no TV sets in ultra-Orthodox homes and Internet use by “der kinder” (the children) is banned or strictly limited, ads are restricted. They are very consistent with what the Yeshivos are teaching in “der clastsimer” (the classroom).

F-a-s-t forward to 2012. Yellow school buses in Florida may soon promote sneakers, power drinks, or “televisye” (television) programs. Fifteen states already raise money by selling space on buses. No, there won’t be an ads for pari-mutuel or internet gambling or political or religious promotions. This is a creative way to raise revenue and not increase taxes. The Florida PTA opposes the idea.

Should the proposal go through, will we be seeing the following ads on school buses in Boca Raton, Florida?

1. AS LONG AS THERE ARE SATs, THERE WILL ALWAY BE PRAYER IN SCHOOL.

2. HIGH SCHOOL GRADS MAKE $8,000 MORE PER YEAR THAN DROPOUTS. STAY IN SCHOOL.
Alliance for Excellent Education

3. “MAKING IT WITH MADEMOISELLE”
It’s a sewing course!!!
Confused? See your guidance counselor for help in planning next year’s program.

4. “Lost nit tsu az undzer loshn zol farshvindn un untergeyn keloy hovo. S’iz ayere yerushe. Fargest es nisht!” (Do not permit our language [Yiddish] to disappear and go under as though it had never existed. This is your heirloom. Never forget it.)

During Spring Break visit the NATIONAl YIDDISH BOOK CENTER in Amherst, Mass.

5. Got “pristshiklekh” oyf zayn ponem? (Got pimples on your face?) Try alcohol free Stridex. Don’t listen to those people who say, “Es vet zich oys-hailen biz der chasseneh.” (It will heal in time for the wedding.)

6. Students, are you “farmatert” (tired)?
Final exams getting you down? You need extra “koyakh” (strength)! Go to Koshervitamins.com.

7. “Shver tsu machen a leben.”
(It’s hard to make a living.)
STAY IN SCHOOL.

8. Stuffed “noz” (nose)?
Athletes use nasal strips to reduce the amount of energy needed to breathe during a workout. Ask your coach about Breathe Right Kosher Nasal Strips.

9. SAT exam on Saturday? “Deigeh nisht!”
(Don’t worry!) SAT exams are given on “Zuntik” (Sunday), too. Ask your guidance counselor for details.

10. Target or the moniker, “tarjay,” which adds a seemingly French sound to the name. However you pronounce it, kids, shop there for kosher products.

11. Got “shpilkes” (nervous energy/sitting on pins and needles)? Ask your school “dokter” about Ritalin, a drug which treats attention deficit disorder.

12. Looking for a “zumer” (summer) job?
Sibling rivalry is all over “di bibl” (the bible)! Cain and Abel, Jacob & Esau, and Joseph and his brothers are just a few examples.
Contact: Camp Sibling Rivalry Today

13. AFTER GRADUATION, BECOME A SCHOOL BUS DRIVER.
Make $16.25 an hour doing what most parents do for free.

14. Typinh is fun once you get the hang of jit.” Learn to type. Practice your typing skills with the MAVIS BEACON TEACHES TYPING software program.

15. When in bed, read instead Sponsored by. Reading Is Fundamental (RIF)

16.. Shopping for a “kaledzh”? Read Alex Gordon and Clark Gordon’s book, “College: The Best Five Years of Your Life.” It’s the “ikerdik” (essential) tongue-in-cheek insiders’ guide for any high-schooler contemplating college.

Marjorie Wolfe
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